Birdy
My birdy, swollen and healing. The yellow bits are, uh… not permanent. :D
I knew that, when I found the right inspiration and right artist, my tattoo would take on a life and story that would turn into more than what I first imagined. I’m fortunate and happy to say that this definitely turned out to be the case. On a personal level, stepping back, having faith and resisting the urge to ensure a good outcome through total control was a fantastic learning experience and has definitely worked to good effect. I was focused on the shifts in my vision through the process and took great pains to communicate that to my artist, but that’s to be expected on such a lifelong investment, no?
I’m not a religious person in the slightest and I don’t consider myself spiritual at all. I’d say I’m humanist, with an understanding that there are beautiful pieces of the human experience that science does not yet explain. I no longer believe in meant to be but I also don’t always buy coincidence. I don’t know the explanation, but I do know that, waiting for the train to head to my tattoo appointment last night, I shuffled my entire music collection to find something to listen to and Blackbird was the second song out of 1600 or so, with RHCP’s Savior being the first, skipped. I know that it put me at ease.
My birdy is a blackbird. Every bit of him was thought out carefully and is art mimicking the beautiful job nature did on creating a bird that at first looks a deep black but also hides beautiful shades of gray. They also have this amazing blue/green sheen on the dark parts. Its as if nature couldn’t handle such a deep, rich color on a creature so fragile and it exploded into something even more beautiful.
One of the songs closest to my heart, and has been for much of my life, is Blackbird by The Beatles. Cliche? Probably. I’m not concerned with that. If you know the song, there is a good chance that you consider it a sad song. I’d ask that, when you listen to it again, you rethink it. To me, its a song about hope, strength, determination and bravery. Many a person over the years have asked me where my story shifted, where I decided that I needed to take my life into my own hands and create something better out of the little I had. I don’t have an answer and may never, but that part of me grew and was nurtured at times where I’d listen to Blackbird over and over. It is to this day. I’ve had so many moments that have given me the opportunities I’ve been waiting for and I’m proud to say that I took them. Every moment of my life holds the potential for more of those opportunities, and I’m ready, no matter how dark the night I’m flying into is.
So my blackbird, he’s flying and singing. Most days, I’m flying and singing, too. When you aren’t given them, a voice and wings are hard to find and I love everyone who has found them for themselves.
I was researching the song the other day, and found Paul McCartney was inspired to write the song by the racial tension coming to a head in the US in the late 60’s.
I scheduled the appointment for the actual tattoo about a month or so ago. The next available appointment my artist had was the evening of 9/11/11. I was glad to take it. It felt like a good way to honor the day despite my tattoo having nothing to do with the event and it would be easy to remember when I’d gotten it!
I love when life works this way. Though I cringe to write these words, I hope you understand what I mean by them: its as if my bird decided to be a symbol for more than just my own struggles and triumphs. To me, now, it is also a symbol of peace and acceptance and love. One of the most important things that I take with me day to day is the drive to do my part in making the lives of others better. I take pride in greeting people I meet with friendliness, two times as much for those whom, for whatever reason, may get forgotten or treated as less than. I love people above all else and for that reason I also hate people more than anything. My birdy is a symbol of all of the wins for quality of life for those who have had to fight for it.
People say that one might regret a tattoo down the road, that when you’re old and wrinkly and your tattoo is old, spread out and faded, its ugly. I don’t think this bird can ever be ugly. Its my reminder to myself, no matter where my life goes, of what I’ve accomplished and who I am and want to forever be. Its what I want to inspire in others and instill in my children. I hope that it will speak that concept to people I come across in not so many words. That’s what self expression is about, no?
